Live
by ChoCedric
Summary: The most important thing we can do in this world is live. Not simply survive, but live. Life is a precious gift, and we mustn't waste it.


Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

Author's Note: This fic is dedicated to MandyJane, who inspired me to write this. Your story of what you went through two years ago touched me deeply and, though I know no words can make it better, hopefully this fic will portray to you that I sympathize. Even though I have not experienced the same exact thing you did, I have lost loved ones in my life and know the pain that comes with it. Moving on is extremely hard, though we know the ones we loved and lost would want us to, and we should always remember that.

Live

By: ChoCedric

The first time she talks to him properly, she is flying on the Quidditch pitch, an activity that has always brought her such joy. Today, though, tears stream down her face as the windy fall air surrounds her. She's been thinking about something that's constantly on her mind lately; the deteriorating relationship of her parents.

God, she wishes things could go back to the way they used to be; their tight-knit little family were so close, it just being her and the two of them. But lately, Meg and Jack Chang have done nothing but fight. She feels powerless, helpless in the situation. She is their daughter, and they have done so much for her - can't she at least give something back to them, help to settle their differences?

It is as she flies around that she truly doubts herself for the first time. When she really thinks about it, she is just a tiny, insignificant slip of a girl - one in a population of billions that is born into this world. What power, what control does she have over any situation? As the tears pour down her face, she feels self-conscious and ashamed. She's supposed to be the happy-go-lucky, popular Ravenclaw, not someone whose mascara is being ruined more and more with each tear that falls.

The feelings of despair grow even stronger when she comes to the bitter realization that no matter how high she soars above the sky today, her pain will not lessen. So slowly, she lowers herself to the ground, only to see a blurry figure through her tears. He is sitting in the stands, watching her.

A new emotion begins to replace the desperation - anger. From the color of his school tie, she knows he's a Hufflepuff, and as she storms nearer to him, she recognizes the face - it's Cedric Diggory, the boy all the girls want, the school heartthrob. Why was he watching her fly? She can't bear for anyone to see her this way, let alone a boy she's always been secretly intimidated by.

She reaches him, and they stand inches apart, and Cho snarls into his face, "Why were you staring at me? What do you want?"

"You fly really well." The compliment is said in a soft, tenor voice, and Cho is taken aback by the reaction. He doesn't seem at all phased by her anger at him. But at this moment, she doesn't have the heart to thank him - instead, she just stares into his eyes, and at that moment something about them captivates her. They're a warm, mesmerizing gray color, and they're honest and deep.

A silence stretches out between them, and then Cedric smiles and holds out his hand. "I know we've played Quidditch against each other before," he says, "but I don't think we've been properly introduced. I'm Cedric, and you're Cho, right?"

"Uh-huh," is all Cho can bring herself to say.

Cedric smiles again, and it accentuates his handsome features. "Now, then," he says seriously, moving over to make room for her on the bleachers. "You look like something's really bothering you. What's wrong?"

"That's none of your business. I don't want to talk about it," she snaps, her guard up again. Why is Cedric Diggory, of all people, making an effort to talk to her? He's probably only doing it so he can go flirt with the girls trying to worm their way into his lap, and he'll tell them what a wreck I am, she thinks miserably.

But Cedric surprises her once again. She expects him to snap back, to look offended, to even walk away, but instead his eyes are soft as they gaze upon her. "That's okay," he says quietly. "You don't have to. I'm sorry."

Another silence descends upon them, for now guilt is starting to eat away at Cho's insides. The more Cedric's gray eyes gaze upon her, the more she sees the genuine concern in them. After about a minute, it is too much for her, and she blurts out, "Sorry ... Cedric. I didn't mean to snap at you."

"Oh, it's quite alright," says Cedric, smiling again. "I'm sorry, too. I didn't mean to barge into your business. But I did want to let you know that you do fly really, really well."

"Uh ... thanks. You ... you do too," Cho mumbles, her cheeks turning a brilliant shade of red.

"Thanks," Cedric replies, embarrassment of his own tingeing his features. "Uh ... I gotta go now. Got homework to do. But I'll see you around, perhaps?"

"I guess so," says Cho softly, and she holds out her hand. Cedric shakes it, and a smile passes between them. Cho can't explain it, but at that moment she feels some kind of spark as their hands connect.

xxx

The next time she sees him, the roles are reversed. Now she's the one sitting in the stands, watching him fly. And he has an agonized look on his face, the same one she wore just a week ago. This time, it's him who's having the bad day. As she watches him, she vows to do the same thing for him that he did for her - for some reason, their encounter stuck in her mind.

A few minutes later, he lowers himself slowly to the ground, and he comes to join her on the bleachers.

"Hello, Cedric," she says, gazing into his gray eyes, which look miserable today. "You think it'll always help, but sometimes it doesn't," she says softly. "That's how it is for me, anyway."

"What, flying?" asks Cedric, and she nods. "Yeah," he agrees.

Then there's silence as they sit in the still September air, until, astonishingly, they both break it at the same time.

"It's my parents," says Cho.

"It's my father," says Cedric.

For a moment, they just stare at each other in shock, and then they both laugh. "You first," says Cho.

"No, you," retorts Cedric.

"No, you!"

"Fine," says Cedric, a little humor coming back into his eyes. "Dad expects me to be perfect. Now you."

"My parents won't stop fighting."

And for hours afterwards, they sit and talk about their problems. Cho marvels at how easy it is to open up to him - he sits and listens to her ramble on, and he doesn't interrupt like her gossipy, giggling girlfriends often do. She tries to do the same for him, and by the time dinner approaches, Cho has made an incredible friend.

As they walk off the Quidditch pitch beside each other, Cedric turns to her and says, "I'm going to tell you something my mum always told me. Sometimes it's hard to follow this advice, especially with Dad driving me bonkers, but hopefully it'll help you. She's always said life's too short to spend time being miserable. Life is a gift, and we should cherish it. The most important thing we can ever do is live."

xxx

In the months to follow, they grow closer. Their meeting spot is always the Quidditch pitch, and Cho has found that her heart is now considerably lighter. She tells the girls in her dorm, "No, Cedric and I are NOT dating! We're just friends!" when they tease her about him, but as time passes, peculiar feelings blossom in her whenever he gives her a hug, puts a hand on her shoulder, or ruffles her hair affectionately. And it feels like - Merlin - it feels like she's on top of the clouds.

when the day comes that he asks her to the Yule Ball, she is ecstatic. As he takes her hand and leads her onto the dance floor, she can't deny it any longer. Cho Chang has fallen head-over-heels in love with Cedric Diggory. And as they kiss in the garden surrounded by twinkling lights and blooming roses, he whispers in her ear that he loves - LOVES - her too! And as they break apart, he wraps her in a tender embrace and whispers, "Live," in her ear, and she replies with the same word.

For it was after that day on the Quidditch pitch that it became their mantra. Even as Cedric is under so much stress for the Triwizard Tournament, even as he surfs fruitlessly through books in the library to find what he's looking for, he always smiles when she whispers it in his ear. And it is the same for her; even while crying in his arms over her parents' relationship, he wipes the tears away tenderly with his thumbs and whispers it to her, his gray eyes overflowing with love.

And of course, as the final minutes tick by before the third task, and they're sharing a private moment before he enters the maze, he says it to her with a passion and desperation she has never heard from him before. His whole body trembles as he hugs her, and Cho knows he's fearing for the task ahead, fearing what will happen. "I love you," he whispers as he turns to walk away. "And Cho ... live."

xxx

"He's dead! Dead! Dead! Dead! Cedric Diggory! Dead!"

Nothing could have prepared Cho for those words, the words that rock her world to their very core. She holds his limp, cold hand, staring into those gray eyes that used to be so warm, now void and lifeless, his face full of more fear than she has ever seen it. She screams, sobs, and yells that if there's any justice in this world, any goodness, any light at all, he'll just wake up. She yells until her throat is raw, until she feels bile rise up. But those eyes just keep staring on, and on, and on, and on, and on.

Later, when she sneaks out of her dorm room to visit him in the hospital wing, she clings onto his hand and she just can't stop the tears. She remembers his last word to her, "Live," and the sobs come all the harder. How can she, when he hasn't? How can she take that advice when the one who gave it lies stiff and cold in front of her? He's only inches away, but ironically, she can never reach him again.

xxx

The next year is something straight out of hell. She can't stop crying for Cedric, can't escape the yawning chasm of emptiness inside her. To try to rid herself of her grief, she does something that she'll always regret - kisses Harry Potter, because she'd do anything to be close to Cedric again, even be with the one person who was with him when he died. But even as her lips touch Harry's, she feels filthy. She imagines those green eyes in front of her being gray, his hair being curly instead of just messy, him being more muscular instead of more scrawny ... She knows she's doing the wrong thing, knows that Cedric would be disgusted by her behavior, and as she thinks it, she can't stop the tears from falling. I'm an awful human being, and didn't deserve someone like him, she thinks as that gentle voice resounds inside her head. "Live." And Cho can admit to herself that she hasn't been doing that ever since he ceased to.

xxx

When the day of the final battle comes, her heart still hasn't healed. She manages to survive daily, but it's surviving, not living. You can't call getting up in the morning, going through the motions, and going to sleep again living. None of her friends except Marietta can be bothered with her anymore, and her parents are now split up. She doesn't think life can get any worse than this. Every night she hears Cedric's voice whispering, "Live," inside her head, and every time she hears it, agonizing guilt crashes down upon her. He probably hates her now, wherever he is. Heaven wanted him, but it would never want her; she's too messed up for any kind of God to let her be anywhere near him again.

Therefore, even as a Death Eater bludgeons her with a curse that causes severe damage to her body, she doesn't think she'll see Cedric on the other side even as she feels life fading from her. She can hope, but hope has done nothing but bring her disappointment and heartache, and she doesn't.

But suddenly, the pain from the curse is gone, and she is no longer in Hogwarts' decimated corridors. Instead, she is in a beautiful garden, walking towards a bright, white light, and a figure standing just beyond it...'

And when she feels warm arms wrap around her, and when she sees soft, gray eyes look into her own, she bursts into uncontrollable sobs, forcing out endless apologies through them. Cedric just holds her close, his all-encompassing love all around her, and when her weeping finally subsides, he lifts her chin up so he can look into her eyes.

"It's all right, Cho," he says softly. "It's all right."

"N-no, it's not!" she wails. "Y-you told me to live, but ... but ... I can't! I just can't! How can I live when your life was taken away from you?"

Cedric just smiles, a sad but loving smile. "My life may have been taken, Cho, but yours was not. And that's why you have to go back, love. It's not your time yet. I may be gone, but I'll always be here," he says as he puts a hand over her heart, a single tear rolling down his cheek. "I want you to live. You need to live. Please. For me?" he says pleadingly, staring into her eyes with such intensity it floors her.

Cho clings to him, lapping up every second with him that she still has left. "But I don't want to leave you!" she sobs, embracing him fiercely. "I love you!"

"I love you too, Cho," he whispers, wiping her tears away just as he did when he was alive. "And that's why I'm asking this of you. Life is a gift, Cho. Don't waste it. Promise me."

And as Cho stares into those deep gray eyes for what she knows will be the last time for many, many years, she sees the sincerity in them; she sees his hope for her to move on, to love again, to cherish life, to live. With that stare, he's reassuring her that he is okay and that he will be waiting for her here, in this beautiful garden, where they can be together once more. She kisses his lips softly and says, "I promise."

And the last thing she sees, as her surroundings fade around her, is Cedric's radiant smile as his last word to her drifts on the wind: "Live."


End file.
